the year i never

the year i never

even saw coming,

the year i had been

counting down

to

my entire life.

the year my 'never's

became my

reality.

the year i opened my 

mind and my windows

on the highway,

the year i felt

the wind on my hands

and the sun on my

face.

the year i learned that

change isnt always 

a bad thing,

and that life is

a series of changes

with very few 

concretes and even fewer

absolutes.

the year i began to

look up to the sun

and tell her i

didnt want to be afraid

anymore.

the year i sat in a parking lot

and said yes to the moon.

the year i threw out

all notions of sense

and all inklings of

logic.

the year i decided

to stay

a child.

the year i shared with

the people i 

love.

the year i grew

with new friends

in a new place.

the year i made

mistakes,

the year i learned 

lessons,

the year i had

adventures.

the year i found myself on a

bridge overlooking the

tracks-

the year i looked

to my left and saw

you

standing there, begging me to

jump.

the year i realized

that the world is my neverland

and its okay to

explore a new corner

sometimes.

tuesday is laundry day

while youre busy with your moon-chases, your sun-dances, and your bridge-crossing, dont forget to make time to stop and allow your mind and your heart to be renewed by the simplicity of normal and boring and sane. to always be on the run is as exhausting as it is exhilarating and even the most daring of people need to sleep until noon and watch daytime tv with the person who knows them best once in a while. as we grow older, our lives may begin to pick up speed and we may become accustomed to days and months without brakes or stoplights. one day you'll wake up and realize that your internal clock is like the one in your first red car, the one that, no matter how many times you correct it, is always 4 or 6 or 11 minutes ahead. it is in moments like those that we might want to sit under the trees we've been climbing for so long and suspend the to-do list that never seems to end and allow one brief moment to overtake us, encompass us, and tell us that we are still the children who wondered what it would be like to fly one day. 'extraordinary' is a thing that, by its definition, can not exist day after day, in every moment. if it were to exist without an end, it would be... ordinary. its okay to admit to the comfort found in being absolutely, awe-strikingly ordinary and in fact, if we stopped trying to lead storybook existences and started doing and being what makes us feel happy and free and alive, maybe that's exactly what we would feel: happy and free and alive.

there is a place where the

there is a place where the
logic and the concrete cease to matter--where
the weeds will grow and shake your
hand and the fences are stained with rust and
fingerprints of drink-deep men and flower-chain children--this
place is spotted with sunshine and crowned with
leaves.here is the place where the wind will
tell you her middle name,the place your eyes became
my thursday jeans hanging on the clothesline--here is my
you(th) everlasting

okla-home-a--you

home is in your eyes its in the upwards inflection of your voice when you say my name its in the glow of the moon-king off the damp pavement in the east parking lot home is highway 75 north and home is that moment when i turn the corner and catch your smile and know that every step brings me closer to your heart home is in the somedays and the what ifs and the politically correctness fading every moment home is the way your laugh grows wings and rides the wind and home is in the 'remember when's and the 'lets go there's and the 'ive always wanted to's home is in the way i catch you looking at me with a smile and in the way you say i'll call you every night but we both know that we'll forget and home is standing on a bridge overlooking an empty riverbed and throwing away anything that ever made sense because logic has no place in our reality home is the smell of coffee and the open road and home is always changing always growing always being redefined but home is the most like home when home is with you

dancing on the highway

my mind is a map that continues to be drawn as i take in each breath-live each moment-grow every inch-learn every step. day after day i explore untraveled corners, build heart-bridges, and shift the mountains that lie on the horizon, leaving trails behind me as i move forward. we are always told that x marks the spot but what if your life is just one big x and what if the spot is actually just the world. you may rest your head at night in the most specific coordinates but i assure you that your words and your efforts and your essence reach far beyond the x you may draw for your life. x-o-x-o. reach-out-and-Be.
to live a life of riches is to invest your time, your knowledge, and your heart in the new kid from carolina and the treehouse by the river. do not question the urge to dance on the highway or write on the baseboards. open doors for others and doors will be opened for you. do not forget that there is never a wrong time or place to love and Be love. live in constant thanksgiving and remember that you are given so much more than you deserve. stop and ruminate on the nature of your current state of grace and dare to look the sun in the eyes and ask her about her day.
xo.

day moon living-

day moon living-
what have i done to deserve your
affections.there are times when i
fall short but
still
you rise and stay and watch and
try and give and know
that the sun must get lonely
up there
sometimes

Riverside

its a beautiful thing to realize that you are so undeserving of the mercy you've been shown and the grace you've been filled with once more

thankful--

day moons bridges fields of

sunflowers wisdom hidden in books caffeine

oklahoma crunchy leaves surprises 

forgiveness strangers who dont get freaked out when

i hug them christmas lights on suburban 

houses dogs who dont know any better than to

love you wholly and completely bread bowls not being

sick antique stores country music people who always remind

you of who you are and that youre loved family

second chances papermate profile elites the 

dictionary.com word of the day every person

ive ever met and every person ive never met thursdays

peace

8:08

       i think a part of me falls in love with everyone i meet because everyone has their own beautiful thoughts and details and flaws and laugh and words and passions and soul and just the fact that they exist and are living, breathing, feeling beings is incredible to me. to know who you are as a person is almost a necessity in achieving your purpose and spending your minutes in the transparent, blissful urgency that is so required of us. from the day you are born to the day you die, every morning is a chance to learn and every evening is marked by a slightly deeper understanding of who you are and why youre here. im not a morning person but i hate sleep but sometimes going to bed early is nice but also im a night owl at times but every now and then i have to wake up early for no reason in order to keep my sanity and after years of living with myself i still havent quite come to fully understand how i feel about sleep or time or clocks or dreams but i can rest easy in the fact that tomorrow i may know a little more of the puzzle than i know right now. knowing yourself takes a lifetime to achieve and to begin to know another person in such a way is to embark on an incredible, lasting journey with a full tank of gas and endless miles of uncharted territory.

       there is a simple kind of beauty in the complicated nature of each person you come into contact with and also every person you may never even know exists. sometimes its weird to think about the fact that there are hundreds, thousands, millions, billions of people on this earth that you'll never get to meet or hug or know what their middle name is or what their laugh sounds like or what they are afraid of or how many colors are in their eyes but it's that remarkable thought that should remind us how important it is to connect with the people around us and love every ounce of who they are. ask questions-observe-remember the little things that dont even really matter like how the number 8 follows your sister everywhere she goes or the face your best friend always subconsciously makes in the mirror after brushing her teeth or your mom's favorite word that nobody can ever use correctly. because at the end of the day and above all else, we were made to love.

Jacob

we are living,breathing dream-keepers-makers-seekers-doers and we were made to chase the sun from dawn until dusk and shake the world under the reign of the moon. we are fighting for the most noble cause there is and how can we expect to carry out such a task without receiving some sort of opposition. our thursday mornings are carried out with a wide-eyed, pure-hearted urgency and our lowest points should not be treated with any less faithful enthusiasm. the anthem of our greatest days will keep us strong, focused, and whole in our darkest hour. we are made to do and made to fight and do these things together-- when you are knocked on your feet, do not be afraid to take a moment, close your eyes, and breathe. it's okay to not be okay. but when we let our spirits sink and our obstacles control our navigation of the passing minutes, we are discounting ourselves and the infinite power that is coursing through our finite veins.

the incredible part about the battle we are fighting is that we already know who won. we already know that the same power that floods the earth with light each day covers every inch of our worldly skin. we must not let our untouchable faith hide in the shadows of the darkness of our present troubles. we should instead let our faith be empowered by the legacy of the souls who have already completed their journey and returned home. instead of moving on, try moving forward. instead of forgetting your losses, remember the reasons you will overcome. we are made to thrive and endure. and we will not be quiet.

i am a fool and you

i am a fool and you
are a rogue-lipstick stains on
my coffee cup: the blueprints of our
wide-eyed wanderings.we are
radical when
the hour calls for rational.we know to live a
life full of sense is
senseless-we will not be
shaken but together we will
SHaKE the world-there are many
things of which i am uncertain but i am confident of
this:
i can see
myself the clearest when i look
into your moon-beam eyes

remember the splendor of

remember the splendor of
venice in may--christmas morning packed
in your old car,everything we could ever
need typed and folded and
dusted with glitter. pages of words defined and
pages waiting to be filled with
life-lets climb the highest
building we can find and ask the coffee
man what to do with the
rest of our lives(26)

you do not truly leave this

you do not truly leave this

earth until the last time your name escapes

the lips of another--you are

irrevocably golden,your name

will be spoken tonight and when tomorrow breaks and in

the many mornings that follow but

even if it happened that one 

day the sun rose and your

name forgot to awaken, you will still

be here; you are timeless because

your heart was won and you will

spend an unbroken day in the

Kingdom of the Bold and the Free-

and it is for this reason the world

can breathe-smile-rejoice

in the fact that you are a Conqueror and you are

Home

Paul

time is selfish and unforgiving and running away from each of us in a full sprint- it does not do us any good to try to capture it, keep it, stop it in its tracks; any efforts to do so will be in vain. time is the silent killer of potential and dreams and un-lived promises. 

STOP.

breathe-

revel in the sunlight that saturates your skin and the love that opens your eyes each morning.
life is not about beginning at point A and ending at point B. life is the lines in borrowed blue ink hand-drawn in your back-pocket map to lead you home. may we always remember to livelearnlove fearlessly and without ceasing. every 60 seconds is a minute you will never again know. 

we are each called To Be and To Be wholly and completely and unapologetically-- live out loud and in color and on fire before your name is called and it becomes too late.

-- live each moment with intent and on purpose

in such a way that when your time comes

they will smile and say

'he was a revolutionary'

atlas eyes- how long i

atlas eyes- how long i

could study the native dialect of

your cryptic laugh- your

biographic hands can fill my mind

with words for days- i am

a map maker and you are

the world i must

explore

composed of pieces of

composed of pieces of
dust and gold,the wind
courses through my red dirt
veins to my
vagabond
heart;until my clock
runs down-'she
was a revolutionary'

Harvest Moon-you

Harvest Moon-you
are Septemeber rain on my
tongue
as i stand open and
adoring,awake and enamored,
drops of you from.sky.to.skin--
sink into
me

why must we keep

why must we keep

time and make plans for Days

we’ve never met and maybe we

are being rude when we assume that

these Days even want to listen to us when

we demand that They come and go at

this time and for this long and in

this way (east

westeastwest)because who

are we to tell Them how to do their

job;trust

when people act like their birth months

january: optimistic, determined, a dreamer
february: charming, mellow, idealistic
march: driven, brave, radiant
april: encouraging, curious, hopeful
may: outgoing, indecisive, golden
june: adventurous, positive, understanding
july: passionate, fearless, free
august: logical, blunt, thoughtful
september: calm, comforting, caring
october: pleasant, protective, opportunistic
november: romantic, enchanting, unpredictable
december: sincere, familiar, warm

100 things that make me happy

1. glitter

2. waking up with the sun

3. making lists

4. people named Kyle

5. how the eyes of a portrait will always follow you 

6. the word “surrender”

7. caffeine

8. having a full tank of gas

9. wearing other people’s clothes

10. hugging people i just met

11. being barefoot

12. mac n cheese

13. thursday days that aren’t really a thursday

14. buying new pens

15. daydreaming

16. the 17th of every month (my lucky day)

17. Caboose’s laugh

18. when people tell me im just like my mother

19. may 26, 2012

20. the way my grandma smells

21. day moons

22. when people find out i drive a prius

23. stealing traffic cones

24. how everyone’s house has its own smell

25. Courtney’s living room

26. holding my sister’s hand

27. Elvis Presley in a green sweater

28. watching movies during the day

29. when i find out someone loves to read

30. brushing my teeth

31. chasing the moon

32. other people’s handwriting

33. Barham Boulevard

34. conversation with strangers around a slightly out of tune piano

35. Tulsa at night

36. Tulsa during the day

37. when a Peter Pan quote fits perfectly into a conversation

38. 2006

39. memorizing people’s kitchens

40. getting the right answer to a math problem

41. seeing scary movies in the theater

42. when someone tells me they look up to me

43. living in the now

44. natural lighting

45. knowing people’s favorites

46. creme brulee

47. colors that can only be found in someone’s eyes

48. the G chord on an acoustic guitar

49. when people dont lip sync

50. when my puppy sounds like a kitten

51. when people act like their birth month

52. Catherine’s hugs

53. getting texts from people telling me to look at the moon

54. odd numbers

55. being unpredictable

56. catching both 7:17s

57. the thought of one day having a library in my house

58. knowing people’s stories

59. having things to look forward to

60. pockets

61. proving people wrong

62. free chips and salsa

63. when you wake up and realize you have the whole day ahead of you

64. when people ask what your middle name is

65. finding the perfect gift for someone

66. people with big vocabularies

67. knowing the world is so much bigger than me and my problems

68. freedom

69. finding things you forgot you lost

70. old people on park benches

71. nicknames

72. catching every green light

73. frozen peaches

74. balconies

75. pets with human names

76. surprises

77. baseball games

78. blue walls

79. people watching

80. hearing people smile

81. seeing people play with their dogs in the car at stoplights

82. watching movies in elevators at 4 am

83. the color gold

84. ee cummings

85. having a clean room

86. going to open houses on sunday just because

87. singing old songs in Jordan’s car

88. when someone calls me their best friend

89. “im proud of you”

90. underlining in books

91. being a teenager

92. when the sun shows off

93. driving to Dark Blue by Jack’s Mannequin

94. sunflowers

95. sushi

96. feeling alive

97. visiting friends at their work

98. falling leaves

99. Oscar Wilde

100. looking at old, faded pictures of strangers and imagining their lives

neverland syndrome

Young and invincible and curious and free- we all possess the power to defy the pressing standards of this world and keep our youth despite what any combination of numbers and colons and letters and dashes may indicate. We are all created to marvel and wonder and bask in the splendor of the sunshine that washes our hands of the night, but too often we replace this thirst for truth with a need to live up to other people’s expectations. The best thing to do is not make sense and the best thing to be is ridiculous. To live a life in such a way that others can approve of, agree with, and understand is to sacrifice the divine sense of awe we were each born with.

The world will tell you that you aren’t moving fast enough, that your innocent thoughts and questions aren’t valid, that youre walking the wrong path--  tell them with a humbled heart and unwavering certainty that they’re missing the point, and the point is this: we must be kind to the child in us.

Make time to drink coffee and tea and take pictures of your cat and take the long way home and make time to stop on the side of the road by a field of sunflowers and take pictures of the tallest ones and make time to watch the lightning from your roof and get in your car without a destination and go to your favorite used bookstore and buy the first 3 books you see and make lists and check off each item and call your grandma and tell her you love her and go to museums and touch all the items that say ‘do not touch’ and hug a stranger and make your mark because these days are golden and these days are fleeting and it would be a shame to live with anything except pure and unabashed abandon.

grains of sanity,waves

grains of sanity,waves

of greatness

crashingbreakingcalling out to

every man who ever wondered what

the distance looks like in the

flesh(the world is

yours-j

u

m

p) 

chase the moon

You deserve a Thursday life and a Thursday life full of adventures beyond the ordained journey that is surviving- into the great intangible and almost mystifyingly unmarked enterprise that is thriving. On this very day you are breathing the same air as more strangers than your transient brain can even begin to imagine or understand and each of these extraordinary people have a reality that is very much their own, trying to find a place in the sea of facts and ideals and beliefs that make up the world around us—how incredibly humbling is it to know that your reality not only challenges that of your next door neighbor or of the barista who supplies your daily caffeine intake or the person who cut you off on the freeway this morning, but that it is this very miscommunication, this necessary disagreement, that makes our temporary world spin each day.

 I am only a person and I know no more than the rest of them, but my reality runs on the idea that there is no such thing as just a Tuesday and every day is remarkable if only for the fact that it is the only march third 2007 or November 11 1924 or july seventeenth twothousandanything that has ever and will ever exist. Let this moment serve as a reminder that the sun and the moon do their job with passion and excellence each day without fail simply so you and I can live our lives in their light—we are given an empty day full of potential each morning; it is our pressing task to make something of it.

I have lived before in routine and I hope to never return to a place where I allow myself to become satisfied with monotony and only mastering the art of getting by. Apathy and familiarity are the easiest of traps to yield to and sometimes all it takes is a moment of spontaneity to shake the tempting ideals that don’t belong in your life—don’t be afraid to chase the moon, don’t shy away from the other side of the bridge—wakeupanddosomething.

--(always remember to write in details that don’t seem to matter about days that don’t seem significant because those are the things that really make up your life)