love to anyone who needs it

I will be the first to admit that I am far from perfect, and this post is not one aimed at pointing out the flaws and wrong doings of others while forgetting my sinful nature. I am writing this from a place of confusion, betrayal, and ultimately, learning. I was recently hurt very deeply by a person I called one of my closest friends, a person I shared my heart with, a person I would jump at the chance to help in any way possible. After investing a year of encouragement, support, and dreams into this friend, I was, all at once, cut out of their life in any and every way possible, with no explanation and no goodbye. I felt angry, confused, and taken advantage of. Even beyond my hurt feelings, I felt sad that I had lost a friend I held close to my heart. 

The point of this post is not to talk about what was done to me, and it is not to cut that person down. As I go through each day and dwell on this situation more, I have begun to realize that, although I may not fully understand the situation myself, I can take this as an opportunity to grow and learn how not to treat others. From watching how this person publicly presents themselves, how they treat each person in their life (and people they do not even really know), and from being treated as less than worthy, I have learned a few important things:

First: Using "the God card" as a reason for acting in a way that does not reflect His nature is dangerous, something I will strive to never do. Being on the receiving end of this excuse, in effect, being told that someone was called to treat you like dirt, by our mighty, loving God, seems ridiculous and unwarranted. All my life, I do not want to put another human being in that situation.

Second: God does not call us to live without love and outside of grace. He does not instruct us to treat others as if they are beneath our call to love. If your anthem is love (just as Jesus' was-- what I aim to live in reflection of), then love without discrimination and without fear and without exclusion. God's perfect offering to us is 'love to anyone who needs it' (and lets face it, we ALL need it). If your life is to truly be an accurate reflection of His beautiful display, then let that offer ring true to ANYONE, regardless of whether you have met them or whether they live in a different country or whether you decide that you like the way they act or think theyre funny or have cool shoes. 'Love to anyone who needs it' should mean exactly that, and there is not a person in this world that does not need it.

Third: I understand that things change, people grow, and relationships may suffer, or even end, as a result. But it is not in God's will for one of his Sons or Daughters to treat another human without grace, without tact, and with hate in their heart. If you feel that someone is negatively affecting your life or holding you back from achieving all that you are supposed to in God's kingdom, remember that God does not teach us to act with anything but love. That does not mean that you should not act, only that you should act with kindness in your heart, even in saying goodbye.

Finally, keeping these lessons in mind, at the end of the day, through the hurt feelings and confusion and anger, I could not call myself a follower of Christ if I did not continue to act with love towards this person, and towards every other person I come into contact with in my life. I will take this experience as an opportunity to grow and an example of what I do not want to be. 

I will try each day to carry myself with grace and to move with love.

so be it

life has been moving and i have been growing and all the while i have lived each day a little more 'myself' than the one before it. i am not that much older, nor that much wiser, but i have breathed more air and seen more sunsets and said more 'i love you's and goodbyes. i am slowly realizing that its okay to offend someone or confuse someone or disagree with someone in the process of being your true, authentic self. to believe in something, by definition, means there will be opposition from those around you. but who are they to tell you what to stand or fight or live for? in every word spoken and every move made, people will watch and take note of the things they support and more importantly, of the things they despise. do not let that bother you. 

at the end of the day, i firmly believe that your life should not make sense to anyone but yourself.